Annual College Admissions event combines myth-busting, truth-telling

What does a Talking Heads song have to do with college admissions? As it turns out—everything.

This year’s Inside College Admissions program, presented by the Friends Academy College Counseling Office and held on Wednesday, April 23, was framed by the storied song “Once in a Lifetime.” The lyrics –"You may ask yourself, 'Well, how did I get here?'" – served as a fitting metaphor for the sometimes bewildering, often deeply personal college admissions journey. Parents/caregivers and their juniors joined together for an honest, myth-busting morning filled with stories, strategies, and reminders that this process is ultimately about human connection and growth.

“Same As It Ever Was?” Not Quite.

The program opened with a quiet moment of silence from Director of College Counseling Edward Dugger – a hallmark of Friends Academy’s Quaker values. Then came truth-telling from college admissions professionals and prestigious high school counselors representing nine different institutions, including:

• Bennington College (Vice President for Enrollment Management and Marketing David Buckwald);
• Jericho High School (School Counselor Alana Mercante);
• Rice University (Deputy Director of Admissions Taren Smith);
• Trinity College (Admissions Counselor Madeline Travers);
• Tufts University (Dean of Admissions Joseph T. Duck);
• University of Richmond (Admissions Counselor Parker Armstrong);
• The Spence School (Co-Director of College Counseling Dana Boocock Crowell); 
• Villanova University (Senior Associate Director of Admissions Erica Woods); and
• Washington University in St. Louis (Deputy Director of Admissions Victor Thomas).

Together, they helped parents and juniors sort fact from fiction. No, artificial intelligence does not make the final admissions decisions. Yes, a human being really does read every application – sometimes up to nine different people do. And no, a perfect test score is not a golden ticket. "We will deny 1600s if the rest of the application doesn’t hold up," one rep shared.

The group reminded parents and students that colleges are looking to build diverse classes, not perfect individuals. That means being open to schools in regions you might not have considered, and embracing what makes your student uniquely them. “Demonstrated interest” might mean visiting, attending virtual events, or simply being curious – and it matters more at some schools than others. The message was clear: be curious, not calculating.

“How Do I Work This?”

One of the most powerful takeaways came from hearing what students – and their families – can do right now:

• Start early. Not just for the applications, but for the reflection that needs to happen before then. What truly excites your child? What kind of environment will allow them to thrive? Do you have a college list that you and your college counselor put together? Sign up for the mailing lists for all of those schools.
• Focus on strengths. As one counselor said, “Colleges admit you for your strengths. We all have weaknesses; that’s okay.” Whether it's an interest in the humanities at a traditional pre-med school or a love of stamp collecting, authenticity stands out.
• Take ownership. Students, not parents, should be the primary communicators with colleges. A call or email from a parent raises red flags, not applications.
  
  
• Lean into the moment. “You have agency right now,” one representative reminded students. “Enjoy the milestones of your junior and senior years, even as you prepare for the future.”

A Legacy of Care and Clarity

In one of the morning’s most heartfelt moments, Inside College Admissions founder and former Friends Academy Director of College Counseling Dana Boocock Crowell (and mentor to Mr. Dugger) returned to campus to reflect on how this event—and the values behind it—took shape. Now at The Spence School, Dana's connection to Friends remains deep.

“When I started Inside College Admissions over two decades ago, I wanted to demystify a process that can feel overwhelming and opaque,” she shared. “But even more, I wanted families to hear directly from admissions officers – not just about what colleges look for, but about what they see in your children.”

In an interview following the admissions program, she spoke with warmth and humor about the countless students she’s guided, reminding parents that while stress is natural, it doesn’t need to define the experience. “College is not a prize to be won. It’s a match to be made. And that match can come from being seen – not polished, not packaged – but seen.”

Dana also invoked the spirit of Meeting for Worship, where stillness invites truth. “I’ve watched students rise in Meeting to speak their truth – to say, ‘This is who I am.’ That’s what colleges want, too. The courage to be honest and real stands out far more than a laundry list of accomplishments.”

Her presence was a reminder of how formative and lasting the relationships at Friends can be, and how deeply invested this community is in nurturing not only academic success, but personal authenticity.

“Into the Blue Again…”

During a self-reflective part of the program, Mr. Dugger challenged his guests to share from their own journeys and experiences. Challenge assumptions, shared one, because rankings can only tell you so much. A "safety" school might become a dream school. One panelist shared that she originally didn't want to attend the school she ended up loving. “Now I can’t imagine having gone anywhere else.”

Another reflected on the transformative power of leaving home. "I went to school 1,500 miles away. I could only afford to fly home once. And that changed my life." Others emphasized that it's okay to not know what you want to study yet. College is a time of self-discovery.

There were moments of humor too—debating whether a teen tour to St. Tropez was “Love It” or “Hate It” on an application (spoiler: hate it), and whether a stamp collection could be the focus of a personal statement (definitely: “Nerd out on it!”).

An Extended Community for all

The signature format of this annual event – and benefit to families and college admissions guests – is the opportunity to gather admissions professionals together in a very unique and personal way. Unlike typical college fairs, the Friends Academy College Office's approach yields a shared bounty of strategies, tips, and experiences. And on the flip side, the College Office creates a unique community among the speakers as well by treating them to an elegant lunch following the program at the Matinecock Hospitality Room. 

“Letting Your Life Speak”

As the morning closed, there was a shared sense of calm—and clarity. The admissions process is complex, but it is also filled with unprecedented opportunity. As Mr. Dugger summed up simply: “You are part of a cohort of youth that the planet has never seen before.”

The Quaker ethos of Friends Academy reminds us to look inward, to seek truth, and to lead with humility, curiosity, and purpose. In a world often driven by metrics and competition, this event was a powerful call to refocus on what matters most: growth, character, and the unique light within each student.

So yes—you may ask yourself, “How did I get here?”

But maybe, as Mr. Dugger reminded us, that’s the wrong question.

Maybe the better one is: “Where can I go from here, if I stay true to who I am?”